By: Clare Schumaker, licensed professional counselor, Catholic Charities
We often hear the expression, “I hate change.” Yet, when we pause to reflect on our lives, we see that change is all around us. We change our clothes, cars, furniture and decorations regularly. Change is woven into the fabric of our daily lives, even in the turning of the seasons. So, do we truly hate change? Or is it the discomfort of transition that unsettles us?
Already, we feel the change in the evening air as the shorter nights of autumn approach. With the seasonal change, our minds may wander in many directions, perhaps filled with anticipation or dread. Thoughts of pumpkin patch adventures with our families, full of spiced lattes and photo shoot opportunities, may excite us. Or we could worry about the yearly back-to-school shopping sprees and how our families will adjust to the rigor of a new school year.
Regardless of our mindset, transition is inevitable — both personally and within our families. Life is a continual adjustment, especially when we stay open to the Lord’s call to holiness in our hearts and homes.
Several years ago, while working abroad in a foreign country, I was under the impression that because it was an English-speaking country, I would easily adjust to my new life with excitement and courage. After all, I had landed my dream job in a country I idolized. What could go wrong? Yet six months in, I hit the January blues harder than ever before.
In that experience, I learned several things about transition: Though it can be painful and require a death to self, especially in my opinion of how things ought to be, it is also vital for growth and holiness.
Amid my January depression, I came across John Fisher’s Personal Change Curve which outlines stages of transition and found that my adjustment to my new life abroad fit the emotional experience outlined in the graph almost perfectly. The happiness of the initial honeymoon phase and the despair of depression eventually led to the integration I found when I humbly accepted my new life for what it was with its joys, struggles, and sorrows. In acceptance, I found freedom. Before, my expectations had taken my happiness.
So, do we really hate change? I propose that we actually love change but struggle with transition because it is uncomfortable and requires emotional expenditure. Still, if we persevere, transition brings a greater sense of freedom and integration.
As we return to school, I encourage you to embrace the transition that is inevitable in your heart and family with faith and hope that Jesus is challenging you to love in ways you have not been able to before. Embrace the experience for what it is, rather than letting your expectations dictate it. Transition may be painful, but with God’s grace, it will be eternally rewarding.
To schedule a mental health counseling session, or to learn about youth support groups being offered first in Marinette, visit the Catholic Charities website at catholiccharitiesgb.org.